There is a difference. There’s a big difference between people pleasers and those who please people

A people pleaser One who self-esteem and value is found in how others view him or her.

People pleasers can be emotional wrecks. They drift from one person to another seeking the acceptance of people.

They avoid conflict.

They do whatever they’re told.

Their opinion is your opinion not their own.

Their fear is they won’t be accepted.

We’re not to be people pleasers live for the acceptance of other people.


We are given the directive in Scripture by the apostle Paul to please people.

We who are strong must be considerate of those who are sensitive about things like this.

We must not just please ourselves. We should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord.

Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory.
(Romans 15:1, 2, 7 NLT)

Paul teaches us that we shouldn’t please ourselves. I think everyone of us would agree that to please ourselves is very self-serving.

Here, Paul teaches to please others means we are building them up, making them strong, pursuing their welfare.

Paul points to Jesus, who is our model for this kind of living. For Jesus did not live to please himself, but Jesus lived to build us up. Jesus didn’t live to seek our approval but to seek our welfare.

We are to accept one another, not live for each other’s acceptance.

Again, he points back to Jesus, who accepts us but doesn’t live for our approval.

So, there is a difference between a people pleaser and one who pleases people.

If you are people pleaser, ask God to help you see your value only in God’s acceptance of you.

If you want to please people by pursuing their welfare, look to Jesus’ life. He gave up everything for our benefit. He didn’t seek our approval but had our well being on His mind.

Practical Next Steps to please people as this scripture indicates:

Ask, “what is the most loving thing you can do or say to the other person.
Not what they want to hear. But what they need to hear to make them stronger or better.

Remove your ego.
It’s not about building you up. Rather, seek to build them up.

This doesn’t mean we are to be self-effacing and a door mat. It means we are seeking their interests instead of our own.

Remember what Jesus did for you.
He didn’t give us what we wanted (a better life here on earth), He gave us what we needed (eternal life through Him).

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