I bet you have never heard this.
“Who are you to judge me?”
Okay. Maybe you have heard that. I have heard that a lot. Not that I have accused many people, or put them in situations that cornered them to say that. But I have heard them say that to justify their actions.
We have all heard someone say to someone, “But who are they to judge me?”
That argument makes sense. God is our judge and we read where Jesus says that he who is free from sin can go ahead and make the accusations against others for their actions.
So what does the Bible say about judging others?
Well if you are not a Christ-follower. It is wrong for me to police you motives and actions.
But if you are a Christ-follower. We have been deputized to be spiritual sheriffs.
1 Corinthians 5:12
What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church?
Are you not to judge those inside?
For in the same way you judge others,
you will be judged,
and with the measure you use,
it will be measured to you.
There it is. That’s pretty black and white that we are to judge those inside the church and that we are to judge to extent that we are willing to be judged.
I have failed one too many times to confront people (aka judge them) for what I saw them doing. Often I have seen behaviors of people that would cause me to question if they were doing okay and instead of being an accountable friend and bringing up the issue, I have shied away from the opportunity.
One time, Cassie and I were concerned for a couple that were dear friends of ours. We were playing a game at our house and this married couple were constantly going at it with each other the entire night. Cassie and I talked about whether or not we should have them back over and ask them if they were doing okay.
We ignored our convictions and continued life as usual not wanting to confront the couple out of fear of how they would respond. “Would it ruin our friendship?” we would ask each other. “Would they accuse us of judging them?” “Would they just tell us it’s none of our business?” These questions diverted us away from what we should have done.
To our dismay, a couple of years later after we moved away, we heard that this Christ-following couple had divorced and to this day, we think, “what if we would have made that phone call to have that awkward conversation?”
Was this couple sinning at the time of our meal together?. Does the fact that they weren’t obviously sinning give me the right to question them? I don’t know.
I believe that to judge is to hold someone accountable for their actions. That is what a judge does. He holds the plaintiff accountable for what he/she did in response to the laws that were established.
We do need to “judge” one another. We should hold each other accountable for what we know is right and wrong. We should be bold and question each others motives so we can grow together.
Maybe we shouldn’t be offended when someone “judges” us. Maybe we should be grateful. Maybe, instead of justifying our actions, we should be glad we have someone who cares enough to confront us and make sure we stay on course.
So don’t be like our tazored friend who is known for saying “Don’t taze me bro” and be the person who constantly tells others “Don’t judge me bro.” Look at your actions and listen to what they are saying and if they are holding themselves to the standard they are judging you, then take it to heart and repent.
If you do need to confront someone. Don’t wait until it’s too late. Start the awkward conversation sooner than later.
Care enough to confront.