1. You’ve ever contemplated breaking into your own church in the dead of night so you can delete the comic sans, Papyrus and Curlz fonts from staff computers.
2. You’ve ever used a cross instead of the letter T or X.
3. You’ve explained DPI more times than you’ve explained your faith.
4. Redesigning the church logo is a weekly project, yet your new design is never used.
5. The words “Don’t worry, this will only take a minute,” send you into fits of rage.
6. Staff members try to make your job easier by asking you to send them last year’s flier and they’ll just ‘update it a bit.’
7. Your suggestions are always brushed aside with, “but that’s how we’ve always done it.”
8. The design they had to have tomorrow is never used. And you’re never surprised.
9. Stolen images, pirated software and breaking copyrights is justified because it’s “God’s Work.”
10. You’ve ever wondered why God gets the credit when things go right, but you get the blame when things go wrong.
11. You’ve ever caught yourself proofreading the Powerpoint slides during worship.
12. You consider yourself bilingual because you’re so adept at translating Christianese.
13. Your only intimate relationship involves late Saturday nights with the church photocopier.
14. You can’t actually attend the events and programs you work to promote because you’re too busy promoting them.
15. Research for sermon series branding means watching tv.
16. You can’t invite your friends to church because you’ve told them to many not-so-flattering stories about your pastor.
17. You and the senior pastor have conflicting definitions of the word “deadline.”
18. It’s perfectly acceptable to use a volunteer’s work over yours, but using a volunteer’s sermon? That’s a good joke.
19. Pastors inevitably become your Art Director, and their previous experience with “art” involved crayons.
20. The Holy Spirit is a legitimate excuse for last-minute changes.